Latest news with #stress management
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They're Disrespected
5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They're Disrespected originally appeared on Parade. When you get upset or someone embarrasses you, it can be hard to respond in a healthy way. Being emotionally intelligent when someone disrespects you might be the last thing on your mind. It's totally fair to feel hurt or angry, for example, and to react quickly in a way you later the same time, practicing emotionally intelligent habits and saying emotionally intelligent phrases has benefits. For example, a 2024 study in The Canadian Veterinary Journal reported that high levels of emotional intelligence can lead to lower levels of stress and higher rates of positive emotional states, such as happiness, and are associated with healthier coping may also want to have more emotional quotient for your partner because you know you struggle with anger management, or for your career, because you want to handle work situations more effectively. Whatever your reason is, we're sharing five things emotionally intelligent people do when they're and what to do if you struggle to respond to situations in healthy What Being Disrespected Can Look Like Disrespect has many different looks. While it isn't always obvious or even purposeful, the ramifications it can have are real.'Disrespect can be both intentional or thoughtless, but either way, it leaves an emotional mark,' says, a psychologist and the author of Be the Sun, Not the shares some common examples: Interrupting or talking over someone; this implies that their thoughts aren't important. Sarcasm or condescension, which is often masked criticism or superiority. Dismissiveness, such as ignoring ideas, feelings or contributions; this includes nonverbals, like eye-rolling. Public criticism, like undermining someone in front of others. Invasion of boundaries, whether they're personal, emotional or time-related boundaries. Related: 8 Genius Phrases To Shut Down Rude Comments, According to Psychologists What Being 'Emotionally Intelligent' Means When you think of 'intelligence,' you may picture people like Steve Jobs or your class valedictorian. But what does 'intelligence' mean in an emotion-focused sense?Dr. Cohen says emotional intelligence is the ability to: Recognize, understand and manage or regulate your emotions. Recognize and influence the emotions of others. Navigate social situations with empathy, self-awareness and tact. 'Emotionally intelligent people don't just react,' he continues. 'They respond in ways that reflect clarity, control and compassion, even under stress and conflict.'Related:If You Use These 3 Phrases, You Have Higher Emotional Intelligence Than Most, Psychologists Say 5 Things an Emotionally Intelligent Person Does When Someone Disrespects Them, According to a Psychologist Now, let's combine the two concepts so you can reap the benefits of emotional intelligence mentioned earlier. 1. Emotionally intelligent people pause before reacting Rather than responding impulsively—perhaps in an angry or mean way they'd regret—they take a few seconds to breathe, calm down and process the situation. When they do speak up, Dr. Cohen says they may ask a question like, 'Can you clarify what you meant by that?' or 'That sounded quite disrespectful. Did you mean to say what you just said?'What responses like this do, he explains, is allow the other person to reflect on their words, save face and apologize or restate more respectfully. 'If the person says the demeaning phrase again, calmly walk away and say nothing,' Dr. Cohen adds. 2. They don't take everything personally An emotionally intelligent person realizes that people say things they don't mean or that are born from other situations. They also understand that disrespectful behavior says more about the other person, Dr. Cohen says, so they don't internalize the gives an example: 'If a colleague snaps at them in a meeting, they might think, 'This isn't about me—it might be about their stress,' which helps them stay grounded.' 3. They set clear boundaries Rather than retaliate, like saying something rude back, an emotionally intelligent person asserts their needs with clarity and respect, Dr. Cohen says, teaching the other person to treat them with calm communication. ''I'm happy to discuss this, but I'd like to keep it respectful,' sets a tone without escalating tension,' he 35 Phrases To Set Boundaries Firmly and Fairly, According to Mental Health Pros 4. They address problems at the right time Again, emotionally intelligent people take a beat. They know when it's the best time to address a concern to keep the situation civil. 'Instead of confronting them in the heat of the moment, or ignoring it altogether, they pick a moment when both parties are calm,' Dr. Cohen clarifies. At that point, he continues, they may say something like, 'Earlier, I felt dismissed when my idea was brushed aside. Can we talk about that?' 5. They let go when it's not worth it Here's a hard but true reminder from Dr. Cohen: 'Not every slight deserves a reaction.' Emotionally intelligent people keep this in mind (at least most of the time), and they 'weigh whether speaking up will serve a greater purpose or just drain energy.' For example, he says, they may choose to walk away from a stranger's rude comment to preserve their peace. What To Do if You Struggle To Respond in Emotionally Intelligent Ways Taking those steps and saying those phrases is easier said than done, so if you have concerns, know you're not alone. No one will be able to respond that way perfectly, every time—even emotionally intelligent people. If and when you struggle, Dr. Cohen says the following can help: Practicing self-awareness, like naming the emotion to create space between the feeling and acting on it. Using the '24-hour rule,' AKA waiting a day to respond. Role-playing your response or writing it out to help you organize your thoughts and reduce emotional intensity. Seeking feedback, coaching or therapy from a trusted friend, parent or therapist to identify patterns and practice healthier responses. Last but not least, don't forget that it's okay to start small. 'You don't have to get it perfect,' Dr. Cohen says. 'Your confidence will come with repetition and practice.'Up Next:Source: Dr. Harry Cohen, PhD, a psychologist and the author of Be the Sun, Not the Salt 5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They're Disrespected first appeared on Parade on Aug 19, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 19, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword
Washington Post
2 days ago
- Health
- Washington Post
This smartwatch health metric can help you better manage stress
Did you know there's a number that might let you know how stressed you are, whether you have a cold coming on and how to get into the zone if you're about to present at a big meeting? You can find that number on most smartwatches or other wearables right now, but if you glance at yours, it's likely to change before your eyes. That number is your heart rate variability, or HRV, a measure of your autonomic nervous system's resilience. It's one of the most potentially beneficial health metrics available to us. But it's also widely misunderstood. Many of us haven't a clue what our HRV reading means or how to use it. Which is too bad, experts say, because research suggests HRV could predict mortality as we get older and help us bring our stress reactions under better control, whatever our age. 'HRV is very useful,' said Andy Galpin, executive director of the Human Performance Center at Parker University in Dallas and a high-performance coach. 'There's a reason it's on every wearable.' The question is, is your HRV in good shape? And how can you make it better? Heart rate variability isn't about your heart, or not much. It's 'a proxy of stress,' said Marco Altini, a researcher and the founder of HRV4training, which provides endurance coaching. Technically, it's the millisecond-by-millisecond change in the intervals between heart beats. If your heart rate right now is 90 beats per minute, those 90 beats aren't spaced consistently. They're syncopated, coming faster and slower every millisecond, depending on, well, 'just about everything,' Altini said. That's because HRV is 'a reflection' of our autonomic nervous system, he said. The autonomic nervous system controls involuntary processes like breathing and heart rate and is made up of the twitchy sympathetic nervous system, which causes high-alert, fight-or-flight reactions, and the parasympathetic nervous system — our inner Matthew McConaughey, which drawls at us to chill. Both systems work with the brain to increase or lower heart rate and breathing and to coordinate the release of stress-related biochemicals but typically in opposite directions. Ideally, these dueling systems interact and balance to keep our bodies ready to react but not overreact to every stress — including hunger, fatigue, worry, illness and exercise — but also cold, politics, deadlines, a car backfiring or almost anything else happening within and around us. Heart rate variability 'shows where you are in balance between parasympathetic and sympathetic drive,' Galpin said. Generally, a 'higher HRV is better.' How much better? In a small study of centenarians — men and women who lived to be at least 100 — the higher their HRV, the longer they continued to live. Those with the lowest HRVs were far more likely to die in the coming year than the others. 'HRV seems to play a role in exceptional longevity,' the study's authors concluded. In general, a higher HRV indicates a healthier stress response, with more input from the parasympathetic than sympathetic systems, said Jay Wiles, a clinical psychologist who uses HRV to help professional athletes and others with stress. A higher HRV suggests that your body is calm but alert, like a boxer bouncing from foot to foot. You're ready to roll with whatever the world throws at you. But is your current HRV high enough? That question is surprisingly hard to answer. Most wearables track HRV by measuring your heartbeat intervals in milliseconds, calculating differences from one beat to the next with a proprietary algorithm and graphing changes in your HRV over an hour, day, week, month or whatever. It then provides an average in milliseconds, such as 20, 50, 110 or some other. That average changes frequently as your nervous system reacts to the world, but it usually stays within a somewhat narrow band, which would be your typical HRV. Your usual HRV can be quite different from mine, though. In fact, the range of everyday HRVs can be staggeringly large, Altini said. In the most comprehensive study yet of HRVs, people of all ages had average HRVs ranging from as low as 5 milliseconds among some people in their 60s to as much as 230 for some teenagers. Generally, HRV declines with age, but some of the oldest people in the study had HRVs above 80, while some teenagers had HRVs of about 10. The average for people in their 30s was about 45 milliseconds, but the range for that age group was anywhere from 10 to more than 160 milliseconds. Many people believe an HRV in the 20s or lower is cause for concern, Altini said. He disagrees. 'There's a strong genetic component,' he said. You may be born with a relatively low HRV, which is normal for you. How can you know? The best way to find your unique HRV range is with several months' worth of data from your smartwatch or other wearable, Altini said. It's best to use a long period of time because HRVs spike and drop precipitously during a single day, he said. A sudden loud noise might send it spiraling by 100 milliseconds before dropping back to your normal. So, knowing your average range over months gives you a baseline or benchmark of your typical HRV. You can then use that information to track what's up inside your body, Galpin said. If your typical HRV abruptly drops by a large and lingering amount, at least 10 or 20 milliseconds for at least three to five days, that often signals that something is wrong. 'Your body's freaking out,' Galpin said. Maybe you're getting sick or, if you're an athlete, overtraining, or you might be facing unusual strains at work. At any rate, a substantial, prolonged HRV decline is 'worth paying attention to,' Galpin said. What can or should you do about a tumbling HRV? 'The goal isn't to fix your HRV,' Wiles said. The goal is to fix — or, at least, find and face — whatever is damping your HRV. Are you training for a marathon? Maybe lower your mileage for a day or two. Or check your temperature to determine whether you're getting sick. You can also work on becoming better able to handle stress in general. Meditation and slow, deliberate breathing tend to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, Wiles said, which will usually result in heightened HRV, both immediately and long-term. He also uses biofeedback with his clients, many of whom are professional athletes, to strengthen their stress resilience and, at the same time, raise their HRV. Prompted by an app on their phone or another screen, they breathe slowly and deeply, with about five seconds of inhaling and five seconds of exhaling, while watching a graph of their HRV. It should slowly rise. This practice can help athletes and the rest of us learn to reach a state of flow, Wiles said, of calm responsiveness even under stress. (If you want to try HRV-related biofeedback at home, he recommends the app HRV4Biofeedback, which was developed by Altini. It costs about $10 and requires only a cellphone, not a smartwatch, to measure HRV.) Even more important is to look at your entire life, Galpin said. If you're not exercising, eating well and sleeping enough or if you smoke or drink heavily, your HRV will be lower than it should be. 'Remove those big health anchors,' he said, and your HRV will rise, as will your overall quality of life, which is, of course, the primary goal. HRV just marks your journey there, he said. 'It's the metric you watch to make sure your whole health program is actually working.' Do you have a fitness question? Email YourMove@ and we may answer your question in a future column.
